Good Bye at Last

I finally lost my on and off again relationship. For the last 14 months I was involved in one of those bouncy relationships. She was very special to me, for you see she was my first. It's hard to describe how I truly felt about her. Now I knew I loved her but not as much as she did me. I can honestly say that. That's the funny thing about loving an older woman. She knew what she wanted but me, I had no clue. I thought I did but I was wrong. To experience someone like that, that devoted, that loving, well I just hope I find it again.

I knew when the relationship started to go sour. Heck I even road a story about it.



It's all there in black and white. Now a lot of my friends told me that I needed to let her go long before I ever did. I just couldn't live with the pain of knowing that I had failed her. In the end we did try but we just kept fighting. Part of the reason was because I had outgrown her. Slowly I had begun to let her go. I think however when she finally did. that's really when she found happiness once again.

She's with someone else now, someone more compatible. Someone more suited for her. Part of me would love to have her back but I know in my heart of hearts that we are done. I used to think I was the ying to her yang.

It's funny, this whole time I wanted her to be free, to be happy, to just be, because I just couldn't help her find that comfort zone anymore. I suppose once you loose it, you just can't get it back. Looking back at it now I have a few regrets and I made a couple of sacrifices but in the end it just came down to a five letter word. TRUST; we didn't have it. And without that you really can't have anything else.


October 4th 2006 - March 4th 2009 Thanks for the memories "D".